Encouraging Your Child In Challenging Situations
3 Ways to Support Your Child this Pride Month
Happy Pride Month! Having a supportive family can be a lifesaver during difficult times and helps provide a strong foundation from which children can safely discover and build their identities. Here are a few tips for cultivating inclusive parenting that can be used whether or not your child identifies as part of the LGBTQ+ community!
Remember, there is no “default.” No one way to parent works for every family and there is also no one way to live and express ourselves as people. There are often invisible expectations put on us that can make being a part of the LGBTQ+ community feel like something different or “other”. Many youth who are a part of the community feel like they have to “come out” to their family and friends because otherwise it is assumed that they are heterosexual and cisgender.
Instead of asking your teen son if they like any girls or your daughter if they like any boys, you could ask, “Are you interested in anyone? What do you like about them?” Using neutral terms can help give your child the space they need to be themselves and build their own identity. You can also consider if there may be activities, clothing, or behaviors that your child may not have been given the opportunity to explore because of their birth sex and make sure that opportunities aren’t being accidentally blocked from them because of stereotypes. Everyone expresses themselves and experiences life in different ways.
Cope & Connect During COVID-19
You wake up and get yourself some coffee, enjoying the few moments of quiet before you awaken the house. Once you start waking up your child(ren), the day involves making sure they are on their live sessions, helping them check off items on their to-do list, managing a meltdown or two, and corralling them back to their desk to finish their work. You feel pressure to be enjoying these moments, but in reality, you just want them to learn from their teachers at school, and you kind of feel guilty for those feelings. Sound familiar? You are not alone.
The times we are in are not fun-filled vacation times. Your young person is struggling with the disruption in their routine, and I would bet you are dealing with a mix of meltdowns, anxiety, trouble falling asleep, clinginess, difficulty paying attention, change in appetite, sadness, and/or frustration in your home right now. Let me repeat: you are not alone. Right now, your child needs you to help them figure out how to manage their feelings and survive this challenge. Right now, they need you to help them develop skills to cope and to connect. Let’s look at what this means and how to help.
Cope: Young people need to learn skills to manage their emotions in a healthy way. You may have noticed that your child is struggling to use the strategies they found helpful prior to this pandemic. Perhaps they are regressing or having more meltdowns. Let’s explore two different strategies to help your young person learn to cope.
5 Signs It’s Time to Get a Therapist for Your Child
Childhood and adolescence can be a confusing time for both children and for parents. At times, you may be staring at your child wondering: Is that really my child? Moods swing fast, behaviors quickly, and it can be hard to know what is part of growing up and what is something that needs extra attention. You want to be a supportive parent, and make sure they get the help they need, but you don’t want to overreact either. I get it, and I understand a lot of parents wonder: How do I know when it’s time to schedule my child with a therapist? If you notice one or more of these signs, it might be time to check in with a therapist.
The challenge you are noting (mood, behavior, self-esteem, etc.) is affecting your child or teen in multiple places. If you are starting to notice that your young person is struggling with a specific challenge in a variety of places: school, home, work, with friends, with family, sports, extracurriculars, other social arenas, etc., you may want to consider meeting with a counselor. It is typical for young people to show a little more emotion and boundary pushing at home, or for them to struggle at school sometimes. You may even be noticing that they keep it together all day at school but struggle at home only. Sometimes challenges spill over into several different environments, and then it is definitely time to seek outside help. Even if they are only struggling in one area, but it has been an excessive time, you may still consider calling a therapist.
Your child excessively worries. Does your child frequently ask you about what is going to happen? Do you notice them stressing about the future, the safety of themselves or others, social situations or maybe a specific fear? Anxiety can ripple out and affect people in crippling ways. If left untreated, it can become more detrimental overtime. It is important for your young person to learn what triggers their anxiety and to be taught skills to understand and cope with their feelings. An appointment with a therapist will also allow you time to learn more about anxiety and how to support your child on their journey to address their worries.
Your hear your child say things like “I’m worthless,” “No one likes me,” “I don’t matter.”
5 Tips for Effective, Connection Building Play With Your Child
As a counselor, I often talk with parents about the importance of play with their child. The (easier said than done) task of playing with a child, and truly playing with them on their level, how they want, can increase the bond between parent and child in ways that conversation simply cannot. Play is a child's natural medium for connection and communication, and I often recommend that play is increased at home. Parents are very open but often confused: "She does play," they respond or "How do I play with him?" They ask. Below are five simple but effective tips for play with your child…